FAQ: What Do You Actually Do?
With any field of work, there may come many questions. “How do you spend your days? Whom do you work with? How do you get paid?” These are all questions I’ve fielded. One of my most frequently asked questions – on set, with a client, my family, friends, and people I meet outside of the industry – is, “But, like, what do you actually do, do?”
With any field of work, there may come many questions. “How do you spend your days? Whom do you work with? How do you get paid?” These are all questions I’ve fielded. One of my most frequently asked questions – on set, with a client, my family, friends, and people I meet outside of the industry – is, “But, like, what do you actually do, do?”
It’s been asked so many times that perhaps I should give a more in depth answer. Simply put, I help to tell stories through the garments worn on the people I work with. In more basic terms: I help to cloth people... on purpose.
There are two man sub-sets of my work. The first is dressing a character. I call this “commercial styling.” It’s managing all that is a costume. This could mean a character on a TV show or film. Commercials you see in-between your favourite shows from brands you know also need costumes for all their characters. I can help clothe for that spot. The books, magazines, and articles you read featuring people, models, or other characters warrant clothing choices too. Basically, if a character needs clothing, I can help provide, maintain, and launder that for as long as the project requires. To get the stuff I’ll source from stores, borrow, rent, or pull from my own collection. Sometimes wardrobe is required over multiple weeks of filming and sometimes it’s just for a couple hours on any given day. My job is to help ensure that the person wearing it “passes.” Passes means that it’s character accurate: it’s not too bold or not too weak. There’s a sweet spot somewhere in the middle where a person should look the part but not stand out (unless that character is a bold or sloppy dresser. That would be developed together with the director). What’s that somewhere-in-the-middle-sweet-spot you may ask? That’s why someone would hire me.
The second sub-set of my practice is dressing real humans for their real life. I call it “personal styling.” These are clothing and accessories that fill a persons actual wardrobe. The work is a varied as the person. There is no one wardrobe I prescribe or pre-determined amount of items. For instance, what an emergency room nurse requires from his/her/their clothing can be very different than a 9-to-5 downtown office worker. I have taken a thirty-something-year-old man shopping for summer weddings he was attending. I’ve helped edit, purge, and re-organize a closet for a just retired professional women who no longer needed the vast majority of her weekday clothes. I’ve helped post-university grads consign and donate her varsity gear and make a plan for professional clothing she’ll need for her bright future. I work with both individuals and with groups. “How to wear…” is a frequent group session that I host. I’ve even helped sort other rooms outside the closet in homes where clients want my eye. My life’s work is to simplify and stylize. A colleague of mine shared that she thought that I helped people, “Move forward with less resistance,” with their wardrobe. I shall buy her a lot of wine.
My hope is that when my work is done – and done right – the viewer will look at the person and quickly start to know more about them. They’ll start to create a backstory in their brain. I know I have succeeded when the image that is projected out is close to the desired image of the wearer. For some people that mean blending in and looking nice. Fo other people that’s allowing their clothes to scream aloud for them. And, of course, there’s everywhere in between. It’s nuanced and deliberate. It can make a person shine, persuade, or sadly, fade into the background. It helps tell a story without uttering a word. It’s powerful and most effective when it’s deliberate.
I know it’s not everything, but it’s my everything.
Am I Addicted To How I Look In My Makeup?
After a vacation at home mostly bopping from cabin to cabin, I realized I barely wore makeup. When I went back through that time, the only days I put it on were because family photos – haunted with knowledge that those photos will probably be on loved ones walls for decades – were being taken. When it was just the boat, my loved ones, and me I didn’t bother. Interesting.
After a vacation at home mostly bopping from cabin to cabin, I realized I barely wore makeup. When I went back through that time, the only days I put it on were because family photos – haunted with knowledge that those photos will probably be on loved ones walls for decades – were being taken. When it was just the boat, my loved ones, and me I didn’t bother. Interesting.
I used to say that I wear makeup for myself, and myself alone. This last stint has me challenging my old thoughts. Would I wear makeup if no one – or camera – was looking? If there was no feedback – be it pictures, mirrors, or people – would I still do it? I cringe a bit at this incredibly vain theory.
My love affair with makeup grew as I aged. I really didn’t start getting “inside baseball” with makeup until my mid twenties. For most of my teens I stuck to eye shadows, over plucking my oh-so-spotty-brows, and piling on mascara. Go me.
I clearly remember the day when I started using eyebrow pencil to fill in my aforementioned sparse brows and how much of a game changer I thought it was. I actually saw what people were talking about when they said it “frames a face.” It did. I was hooked.
In my late twenties I moved on to lipstick and skincare. I didn’t want to stop my beauty journey after discovering my inner Brooke Shields; I wanted more. I went on rampage trying lots of shades and brands. I was going all out. I loved getting the trial size packages of lipstick and facewash and shampoo and zit crèmes. Slather it all over me, please and thank you. Fever driven I always asked, "Now what else is there to change my life?" I was a product junkie demon bellowing, “More, different, MORE!” I was experimental utopia. Until I wasn’t.
Just before thirty, my face held me hostage via major, all consuming flair ups. Rash-like bumps all over my face, jaw, and neck; puffy turtle-esq eyes that looked almost as sore as they felt; and red itchy patches near my eyes and nose. A few trips to the dermatologist and we had it cased: dermatitis. Translation: if you live in dry-AF Calgary your skin is more likely to be hella parched. My dermatologist explained that with the onslaught of the over $400 billion cosmetic industry products available to us, many, me included, have become addicted to trying product after product. The plethora of makeup products, perfumes, and skincare blowing up my social media, tempted me to try new things over and over. Turns out this intense, ever changing regime may trigger some peoples skin. While many can handle it no problem, it’s simply too much for sensitive skin types like me. Please indulge me as I exhale deeply.
I learned that I had to breakup with trying oodles of pretty, different stuff. It was a dejected time for a while. Since then I have simplified my routine to bare bones and found a select, few brands that don’t irritate me. Other than my tiny family of product brands, I stay away from most new things. This makes me sad sometimes, as I love to experiment. After a bit of time, I noticed, too, that the lack of options provided me a bit of relief. I no longer had to choose. Due to my sensitive skin I couldn’t keep-up-with-the Kardashians without my face revolting.
Since my skin reboot and figuring out what works I observed that I’ve piled on the makeup again. This time, however, instead of all of the different products across the entire cosmetic industry spectrum, it’s all of a select few. I say no to trial sizes outside of my brands. I no longer buy the multipacks of various lipstick products that I used to lust over every holiday season. I try to keep my head down, resist, and stay in my dry AF lane every time a shiny new product hits the market.
But the stuff that works for me, I use it. A lot. Maybe it’s because I stay away from all those fun new masks and scrubs and everything you see online for fear of a negative reaction that I go HAM on the products that don’t. I’m using and loving the select stuff that I have, hard. I just didn’t notice how deep I’ve got into it until I wasn’t wearing it everyday.
How does this relate to fashion, you may ask? I imagine my latest beauty routine may be the equivalent of a capsule wardrobe for clothing. In my case it’s a capsule beauty skincare collection. Now I only have a few things and buy them over and over again. I’m super dooper loyal. I suspect too, that because I am restricted in beauty and skincare products, the desire to go more maximalist with my clothes is more intense. After all a person’s style is a complete look. Hair, skincare, and clothing together give you your own version of a confidence concoction that culminates in unique personal style. Style can, and should, embrace your individual limitations and full expressions at the same time.
Let’s be clear: I love my face in full makeup and I accept how it looks without all the stuff. I contemplate that I may have to relearn and work a bit more on loving my face without makeup just as much as when it’s made up too. I am curious about challenging myself to take some of the faux face off and get under what’s really going on. Stay tuned.
What's My Deal With Shorts?
I’ve been told I think about certain things too much. I believe there’s a lot of truth to that. Let’s be clear: no one is saying that I am especially wise in my in-depth thinking, rather, it’s what certain things I spend my time thinking about that may be interesting.
I’ve been told I think about certain things too much. I believe there’s a lot of truth to that. Let’s be clear: no one is saying that I am especially wise in my in-depth thinking, rather, it’s what certain things I spend my time thinking about that may be interesting.
For the last little bit I’ve been spending way too long trying to figure out why I’m not a huge personal fan of shorts. Don’t get me wrong, if they are baggy and to my knee and lower, I’m all in. Same goes for a ultra short shorts. There’s just something dangerous about the bum grazing length that I love. As for the more sensible length between knee and crotch, I’ll pass.
For example, if the hem is above my knee and a more slimming silhouette, say a khaki or a scalloped cut, I’m not into it. And like the saying that supposed to let us down gently in a breakup situation, “It’s not you (shorts), it’s me.” Cue the groans.
Often times when I go somewhere warm, my travel companions will laugh when I tell them I didn’t bring any shorts with me. Rather, I’ll pack dresses, long culottes, or baggy cropped pants. You likely won’t find a pair of sport shorts or *cute* shorts in my bag on any trip. It’s the garment I have the least of in my closet. To put that into perspective here's some real talk: I have twice as many sunglasses as I have shorts.
What's going on? Do I have some repressed memory that would answer this seemingly random disdain? The more I sit on it, I’ve come up with a few theories, none of which are likely worthy of sharing, that is, unless there is a person out there who is thinking way too much about shorts too. This is for you, Boo. Welcome to my nonsense brain guck dump.
Theory One: I don’t like shorts because I consider them pant accidents?
Did anyone set out to actually make shorts?
Did shorts simply happen when someone got too hot in pants and the scissors came out?
Are shorts the right solution for keeping cool?
Theory Two: I don’t like shorts because the hem length is too finicky?
I like them below the knee and the ultra short hot pant variety, but everywhere in between is wasted on me. Why, though?
Who decided what length to hem them up to?
Why don’t more people get them altered to flatter their unique - and banging - body?
Theory Three: I don’t like shorts because they aren’t comfortable?
If you do choose a slimmer leg that’s above the knee, don’t you find them uncomfortable? For me they ride up and bunch. Not good at all for me.
Am I deterred because skin direct-on-chair contact is not a fun thing? Why do skirts get a Sarah style pass?
Do people with amazing legs like shorts more than your average legged people? Sort of like, “Takes one to know one?”
Theory Four: I don’t like shorts because they too common - aka: basic - for me to enjoy?
Are shorts the great fashion equalizer as there are options for nearly everyone? If so, is that why they are boring to me? I don’t find jeans boring so why do shorts take the bulk of my criticism?
Does the utility of them make them too practical for my flippant style sense?
Is it a case of my “If everyone else is wearing them, I don’t want to” contrarian BS?
I'm a mess. Turns out, after this super scientific study, shorts are fine. Really they are. I’m the a–hole for questioning their shine and shame on me for not getting it. A fun fact is that like them way more on other people than I ever do when looking at myself in a mirror. Go figure.
As I age, I realize as YOLO of a dresser as I am, I certainly am firmly set in my personal taste. That’s as groundbreaking of inside scoop as much as the use of florals in spring issues of fashion magazines, hey Miranda/Anna? When dressing myself, I like bits of a bunch of things but rarely all of the things in a given category.
Knowing it’s not always about me I must share something that I think a lot of stylists and personal shoppers come up against. A sort of attempt at myth busting perhaps. Just because it’s MY style, it does not mean I want it to be YOUR style. In fact, it shouldn’t. Style can be - at its best - as personal as your favourite song or your Netflix account. When it comes to clients, I am so lucky to help them find the things that they love. Often those are very different as we are very different. I love that it’s different. Cute, right?
Dressing is like a buffet. Take what you like and don’t worry about your neighbours plate. While a client and me may both take a spaghetti bolognese (midi length skirt) and extra helpings of kale caesar salad (button down blouses), I’ll pass on the prime rib (Bermuda shorts) - thank you very much - and go straight for something more me. Let's say the not-for-everyone olive bar (sack dress).
To all the short stans out there, what am I missing? Are shorts the thing?
Pride 2018: How I Hope to Be a Better LGBTQ Ally
All around the globe, June marks the most mega major month that we celebrate Pride. As an ally of LGBTQ persons and the community at large I feel that positive, inclusive changes have happened, thank Dumbledore, but I am acutely aware that I have so much more work to do.
All around the globe, June marks the most mega major month that we celebrate Pride. As an ally of LGBTQ persons and the community at large I feel that positive, inclusive changes have happened, thank Dumbledore, but I am acutely aware that I have so much more work to do.
Gay culture has never been cooler. Fashion has played a huge role in inclusion and self expression and I am so proud. Regardless of your personal preferences, there is something for everyone. From “RuPaul’s Drag Race” entertaining more and more family living rooms; trans people representation on shows like ”Orange is the New Black;" and revivals of shows like “Queer Eye,” society at large is not only tolerating, many are actually rejoicing ‘gayness’. I heard somewhere that to fully accept someone, you need to get to the point where you are celebrating him/her/they. That’s why Pride is so important. You need to see it to believe that it could be a positive experience for you too. Loving who you want and how you want is a right. Some of us are so there.
Many are not. There are harsh truths that we must keep educating ourselves on, not only to keep perspective but also to not give up the fight. The Trevor Project reports that LGBTQ youth are nearly three times more likely than heterosexual youth to contemplate suicide. Bullying is a huge problem all across our schools and LGBTQ youth are often frequent, persistent targets. Objectification of bodies - male, female, and non binary - are issues that we have to find better solutions for. Teaching acceptance and inclusivity is sometimes attacked, even here in Canada. Jessi Cruickshank, fashion darling and CBC host, was both celebrated and more importantly seriously threatened for putting together a sexually diversity pride month celebration segment with children. I can't even.
What all of these challenges to the LGBTQ community have in common are other people asserting themselves on LGBTQ persons presumably because they believe they know or are better. That somehow there is a “right” way.
In the past, it was expected for those homophobic, terrible, and inhumane thoughts to be kept to oneself at the very least and perform some diversity and inclusion coaching at best. Let's be clear: people have the right to live their own lives. In Canada we protect that right with law. But in our larger current climate, hate is rebranded as free speech. Nastiness is come out of the cracks. It’s not okay. LGBTQ people are people, people. Regardless of the acceptance of hate - as this is the world we inconceivably now live in - I’m not okay with it.
That said, we could all be quick to point the fingers at what we would expect or have others do. But as the old saying goes something like, “When you point a finger at someone else, there’s three more pointing back at you.” Right. Got it.
This Pride I am going to focus on how I can help. I am committed to evolving my education and awareness and hope to positively affect the people I come into contact with personally. As a LGBTQ ally:
I will confront anti-LGBT language – jokes, slurs, micro aggressions – regardless of the mouth it is coming out of.
I will support openly gay owned and/or run businesses.
I will invite LGBTQ person(s) to my parties and events.
I will go to LGBTQ events when invited and show my support and acceptance.
I will promote messages of love, support, and acceptance from and for the LGBTQ community.
I will educate myself on sex, sexual orientation, and gender identity.
I will be sure to listen to LGBTQ person(s) perspectives more and speak less.
Starting now.
Happy Pride!
4 Questions That Will Help You Use Clothing Like A Tool
I often get asked,” What’s the trend I need to get this season?” or, “What’s the one thing I should buy this year.” To which I often respond, likely somewhat disappointedly to their eager ears, “It all depends. May I ask you more questions first?”
I often get asked,” What’s the trend I need to get this season?” or, “What’s the one thing I should buy this year.” To which I often respond, likely somewhat disappointedly to their eager ears, “It all depends. May I ask you more questions first?”
In my experience, people are looking for a fashion silver bullet. As with most things, that unicorn doesn’t really exist. (Please don’t let me be the one to break the dream to the young ones in your life about those majestic beasts). If they are game, I will follow up with a series of questions that seem to stun – or at the very least delay - most people. They include:
“What are you trying to say with your clothes?”
“What do you already have in your closet that could work or could be built upon?”
“If you’re ready to shop, what’s your budget?”
And, “When it comes to shopping, what else is important to you?”
This tends to overwhelm people. I can sympathize in other instances. For example, if I compliment a meal and the cook shares how they did it, after three ingredients I am at a total loss. The same thing happens when people talk about wellness. Things like nutrition tips and working out suggestions must be excessively simplistic if I have any shot at retaining the gems. When I am green at something, I tend to seek help, listen to those in the know, and try to learn. I find comforting relief in knowing not all people are all things. I truly believe that we could all use the help of others in areas we suck at.
When trying to explain why I care so much about fashion - and how it can illustrate your personal style - I have found a few analogies that can help. One such analogy is using tools. Say I walk onto a construction work site, go to the toolbox, and pick the same one as the person in front of me. Note that I haven’t considered what I’ll use the tool for or what I’m trying to accomplish. I just pick up and go to the first area I see. Say, for instance, I end up using a Philips Head screwdriver to try and bang out an old wall woodpecker-style in a demolition. After ten minutes of jamming that tiny head into drywall you’d bet that I’d be lusting for a sledgehammer. It’s a case of the wrong tool for the job. Understanding that old saying is true: you don’t know what you don’t know; one should ask someone who does to get there faster.
It’s the same idea with clothing. If you want to appear chic and put together, athletic leggings and a T shirt are not going to work as hard for you and a well-tailored suit. The reverse is true, too. If you were trying to communicate that you are easy going and free-spirited, a corporate suit may not be the first thing I would choose.
It’s not just about work settings. Say you’re about to meet your significant other’s loved one and you’re keen to make a good impression. The key here is taking a minute beforehand and asking yourself, “How do I want them to see me that’s both genuine and flattering?” Your style should come from an honest place that expresses who you are (and bonus points if it includes a “best self” expression). Wearing schluppy clothes and wanting to appear “together” is a style disconnect. Alas, it’s totally up to you: if you want to both look and appear schluppy, do you, Boo Boo.
Getting back to those four questions, the next time you say for the millionth time, “I have nothing to wear,” go back and consider these four elements.
“What are you trying to say with your clothes?”
Translation: If someone could look at you and make an impression solely from what you are wearing, is what they might say close to what you were trying to communicate? If that’s mystifying to you, call me.
“What do you already have in your closet that could work or could be built upon?”
Translation: Shopping may not be the answer just yet. Is there something you’d like to wear that you already have? Try building from what you have first. If you’re stuck for ideas, call me.
“If you’re ready to shop, what’s your budget?”
Translation: If you’ve got at least twenty bucks there is no budget too big or too small. Also consider how long you have time to find it. If you’re personally taking ten hours away from your life to find that one thing, an expert could likely cut that down to under two. What’s your time and money worth?
And, “When it comes to shopping, what else is important to you?”
Translation: Consider that your budget can be just one factor of many. Also defining a few other parameters will help narrow things down. What’s your stance on environmental concerns? Does where or how it is made matter to you? Do you hate or love certain fabrics and/or colours? What brands do you like or try to avoid? These are all questions I would suggest you ask beforehand.
Impressions are made within seconds of seeing a person. It’s a bit alarming, as you’ve likely not opened your mouth yet. I urge you to accept that clothing is a tool. Personal style is powerful. Taking full advantage will help you and your self-confidence exponentially.
Do you know if the clothing tools you’re using are working hard enough for you?
How To Analyze Your Personal Style
One of the ways I try to get to know someone and their style is to ask questions. A.lot.of.questions. How people respond and what they share can be so helpful in getting some understanding. What people share personally helps to lay out the foundation. Then, together, we can build upon that and get them a personal style that they love.
One of the ways I try to get to know someone and their style is to ask questions. A.lot.of.questions. How people respond and what they share can be so helpful in getting some understanding. What people share personally helps to lay out the foundation. Then, together, we can build upon that and get them a personal style that they love.
While putting together an upcoming personal style event for a group of women I went back to the questions I have gathered over the years from meeting with clients. One key element to helping refine someone’s style is getting to know someone. I can only imagine how daunting it may be to have someone in your home and in your closet working closely with you. Common trust and a lot of kindness are two things I strive for.
People sometimes ask me, “So what are these questions you ask people?” To that I say I’ll share some with you and maybe more importantly, I share why I ask them.
Up front, I ask them to consider your typical week and share…
How do they spend their days? Evenings? Weekends?
And how to they get around? Personal vehicle, transit, bike, other?
How often do they travel and what for?
I ask these series of questions so that I can understand what their life looks like. If I have a client who is a nurse at the hospital, that person is likely in scrubs for their workwear. This is important, as we won’t need to ensure they have a lot of business suiting. Maybe an outfit or two for specific days – such as an interview or work event - and that’s about it. I am not keen to fill anyone’s wardrobe with clothing they won’t wear. That would be a disservice to their closet and wallet.
It’s also important to see how they get around town. Someone who cycles into work is going to have different needs than one who drives. The different need may be as simple as what bag they take into work and how much they can lug around. Sure it’s a small detail, but it’s important to me.
How and why people travel is important too. If you travel a lot for work and need to arrive in a suit that very different than a person who jets off to the mountains every weekend. I like to support the life you already have and help to make the clothing part of it run smoother.
Next I’ll try to understand what their current style situation is. I’ll ask things like…
What is one thing you like about your style? What’s one thing that you find challenging about your style?
Can you tell me about favourite outfit and why you love it?
Now tell me about an outfit or item you don’t like to wear?
Learning about what’s working – and not working – for a person is a huge help. I want to know what makes them feel good; what they love to wear. Once that’s out in the open we can use that to create multiple looks that compliment that feeling.
On the converse, I too, want to know what they don’t feel good in. Sometimes it’s a matter of the fabric scratching, sometimes it’s a bad fit, and sometimes there is a tough memory attached to it that is time to let go of and move one from. Knowing what you don’t like helps create boundaries. I hope that the client will learn to avoid those style landmines less and less over time.
After that I continue to dig a bit deeper…
Who do you dress for?
Yourself? Someone else? If someone else, who is that?
Is there anything that you’d like to stay in line with or avoid?
Knowing for whom one dresses for is paramount. It’s totally normal to dress for more than one person. It’s only a potential hiccup for me as their stylist if a client is dressing more for someone else than for themselves. For instance, wearing a dress that your spouse loves for a date out is a nice gesture. Holding onto a dress that drudges up a painful memory with you and your deceased mother is not so nice.
I also want to know if there are ethical or moral considerations. Considerations can be the makeup of the clothing (fabrics, source, how it’s made, stance on second hand clothing, etc) or the brands themselves (favourites, working conditions of the factories, reputation, etc). Knowing what and who they want to support matters.
Now that I know a bit about them from their point of view, I am curious to learn how they think others see them. Clients either nod knowingly or are totally flabbergasted when I share that first impressions are made within 1-10 seconds. Here’s a study that says seven seconds. This one says it’s instant.
I’ll ask them to talk about how they are seen…
What do you think your clothing says about you to a stranger you’d walk past?
Is that a genuine expression of who you are (or want to become) or would you tweak some things?
Does it feel good?
This part is really telling. It’s funny that some people can be so accurate. I think that’s because we all make quick judgments or assumptions when seeing total strangers. Those studies above prove that it’s human. Studies aside I think it’s more important to know that one can use it to their advantage. I challenge my clients to dress how they want to been understood. If that’s a genuine expression of who they really are, that’s the ticket. How you dress and how you would like to dress should be aligned.
Specifications details like size, budget, and colouring are important, too. I tend to leave them to the end as I have yet to find a budget or body that I can’t deliver upon. Everyone deserves to feel as amazing as I know they can look.
If nothing else, I want people to know there are no wide sweeping “rules” that I make clients adhere to. That’s so not my jam. I believe that each person is unique and your wardrobe should flatter that uniqueness.
The One Shopping Item That Got Away
When you hear the phrase, “The one that got away,” what do you think of? Long lost lovers that you parted ways with yet contemplate now and then? A pet that’s gone that you still mourn for many years later? Or even a vacation you decided to pass on because you feared going away for too long? Turns out I’m not romantic.
When you hear the phrase, “The one that got away,” what do you think of? Long lost lovers that you parted ways with yet contemplate now and then? A pet that’s gone that you still mourn for many years later? Or even a vacation you decided to pass on because you feared going away for too long? Turns out I’m not romantic.
At least I’m not romantic in the traditional sense. For me, it’s a short, yet painful list of sartorial items I have yet to source that have me amorous. Shopping for me has never been difficult. That’s partly why I do it for others. The other part is that I love to shop. But every so often, once ever couple of years, there is a particular item I just can’t get my hands on.
The latest offender: denim dungarees. Aka: overalls.
Please read this with a grain of salt. Of course I can find a pair of denim dungarees. What’s I can’t seem to find is the RIGHT pair of denim dungarees. Not only do they need to slouch off my backside just right, the width of the chest has to be just so. Preferably I want 0% stretch (aka: 100% cotton) in the denim. Fabric sourcing is a modern dilemma if I ever had one. Also, I want to be able to distress, paint, and patch them myself. I like to DIY my denim personally, not have it pre-done. It has to be custom. Fussy much? Cha.
The last time I had a hard time finding what I wanted was the summer of 2013. Item: idyllic boyfriend jeans. After trying on thirty some pairs my solution was crossing the floor over to the mens section and purchasing dude jeans. Duh, the word “boyfriend” is in the name, right? I took them home and ripped them up a bit and it’s been love ever since.
A few years before that I struggled to find the “right” olive full-length jumpsuit. The tricky part of this item is that my shoulders, bust, and tush are three different sizes. That proves challenging when the item is one piece and one size. I have not given up on it, rather, it’s at the part of the list under the header, “Maybe a brand’s sizing model is as proportionate (not!) as me?” It could happen.
The last item on this list of sad, sad friends that maybe on the other side, a la Stranger Things, is a plunging straight line v neck waist coat that I’d wear as a top for a fancy 'do. Maybe it’s my love of Broadway costuming that incepted this dream item into my mind. Maybe it’s my love of men’s suiting on a woman. Either way, I’ve yet to caress this item in my eager palms. I will wait for it.
Sigh.
A Kleenex and a soothing peppermint tea later I realize something. Can these three items be considered “Ones that got away.” if I’ve never come across them in person? Am I like the delusional person pining over a crush sick with heartache who won’t even muster up the courage to say hello to that crush? I don’t know what’s harder for me to accept: I may never see these items OR I’m just a romantic fool indeed?
Waxing poetic aside, I do know that I FEEL like a fool searching for these dungarees. Summer of 2016 may be Pokémon Go for most but my summer is dedicated to finding this denim. Dozens of stores, two Goodwill’s, one Value Village, a bunch of outlets, and a couple of consignment stores later and they still keep me chasing. It's a frustrating dance.
I’m not much for playing games, but when it comes to these denim dungarees, I’ve gotta catch ‘em.
Dressing for Yo Self
Have you ever heard the question, “Who do dress for?” For me it’s a no brainer; it’s me of course. Not many others choose to wear many of the items I love dearly. Some are silly. Some are un-feminine (whatever that means). Some are just questionable. That got me thinking. How many of my beloved items are glorious to me but hideous to others?
Have you ever heard the question, “Who do dress for?” For me it’s a no brainer; it’s me of course. Not many others choose to wear many of the items I love dearly. Some are silly. Some are un-feminine (whatever that means). Some are just questionable. That got me thinking. How many of my beloved items are glorious to me but hideous to others?
I’ll be the first to encourage dressing attractively for the self. I really get into it if, on top of the aforementioned, a person chooses to wear items that are unique and they flatter. That’s the style unicorn to me.
Keep in mind my style icons include Leandra Medine from Man Repeller and the inimitable Iris Apfel. Both of these women know the importance of fit and quality but it doesn’t stop there. They also emphasize that a key to great personal style is that it is personal. It’s not cookie cutter straight from a magazine. It’s not borrowed from a celebrity head to toe. It’s all their own.
That said, sometime is fucking ugly – or fugly – to others. The wearer may love it and the viewer may hate it. I would challenge that self-love style is way better than hating what you are wearing and having other compliment your look. That recognition for something I’m not proud of would make me feel like a fraud.
I am fully aware that it takes a certain person or eye to admire a peculiar style. I like to think of it like a flavour of ice cream. Yes of course, vanilla, strawberry, and chocolate are delicious classics. But there is something to say for more oddball flavours like tiger tiger or pistachio. Sure not everyone likes them, but those that do, like them A LOT.
If that analogy isn’t working for you, it could be as simple as a genetic mutation. Call it the fugly gene. I’m kidding. I have absolutely no scientific grounding for this hypothesis. That said could it make sense? Perhaps it’s no different than being fond of a flavour. Maybe there’s a few of us out there that like odd fashion. Maybe it’s simply a part of our DNA?
Some examples of my odd fashion include:
High waisted shorts paired with baggy dress shirts, socks, and strappy sandals. It’s silly, yes.
My rationale: I like how a bare leg and covered arm balance the other out. The socks are a bit of gimmick, sure, but they are warm too.
How about huge men’s jean with sequins and scalloped crop top?
My rationale: It’s fancy show girl meets casual dude. It shouldn’t work in theory but it does in person.
Exhibit A (above): I also am weak in the knees for a discount bin caftan with an obnoxious print.
My rationale: I love that I’m covered up but I’m putting myself completely out there.
When I think about it more all of these examples carry a certain tension: tight with loose; feminine meets masculine; and loud yet conservative. It shouldn’t work. But I think it does. At the very least it creates questions for those who see me. That is likely the key to it. I like to think that my look is together – it fits, it flatters, it’s tidy – but odd. Really, it’s a true extension of my personality.
The next time you are picking out what to wear, I encourage you to ask yourself, how do I want to feel? How do I want to be seen? Now is what you are wearing a representation those two?
That intention will steer you in the right direction, no matter if it is fugly or not.
Get the Cure: a Pedicure
Now that it’s, dare I say it, spring, it’s time to pull out those lost relics of Canadian closets: sandals. After being cooped up in boots for the past half year, it’s time to let the toes peek out. My feet have been craving some airtime, big-time. I have quite the collection of open toe shoes ready for the season, but I wasn’t ready. More specifically, my feet weren’t ready. They needed a lot of TLC.
Now that it’s, dare I say it, spring, it’s time to pull out those lost relics of Canadian closets: sandals. After being cooped up in boots for the past half year, it’s time to let the toes peek out. My feet have been craving some airtime, big-time. I have quite the collection of open toe shoes ready for the season, but I wasn’t ready. More specifically, my feet weren’t ready. They needed a lot of TLC.
Full disclosure, the state of ones’ feet tells me nearly everything I want to know about a person. Nothing like nasty feet to ruin a look (Those with actual conditions, I feel for you. The people who don’t have a condition, shame on you). A woman in a sundress and cute shoes, but unkempt feet, yikes! I am looking forward to seeing fellas in relaxed weekend looks with button down shirts and clean jeans. That is unless his feet look more like a ripe The Walking Dead zombie than a flesh and blood man.
The quickest way for me to become revolted would come with a quick peek at your feet. Please know that this is preventable and not gender specific. It’s totally up to you to keep your body in a well-moisturized and attractive state. Tidy feet and hands are a big deal. No matter your profession, one must take care of their digits. Make the most of your situation and keep it respectable.
I do not discriminate between au natural or nail art to the tens. Please know that you can’t make assumptions based on lifestyle either. For example, I know plenty of athletes with gnarly nails and others with a more pleasant podiatrist approved situation. I also know too many people who wear nice clothes and choose to have nice things but their feet are a problem. Of course, there are folks that have more modest taste but keep those feet up to par. Basically it doesn’t matter who you are, take care out there.
I admire those who self-pedicure. I do. If you are one of these DIY folks, I say good for you. You’re keeping it locked down and your money in your pocket. Perhaps those saved funds are to buy more shoes? Or, you know, to save. Save, what’s that? I digress.
I also understand those that choose to keep regular appointments at their spa or nail shoppe. Those pros are under celebrated heroes in my books. It must be tough looking at feet all day. But I would think it’s rewarding to see the after as compared to what the person slogged in at the start of the appointment. What I like about it most is that people are earning a living at making others their best selves, aesthetically speaking.
This got me thinking, “How much of a living?” does the nail tech/manicurist make? In Calgary, if you go to a strip mall shoppe, a spa pedicure will run you $30-50 dollars per session. At a specialty spa, a pedicure service will run you upward of $80-100 per. Say you go six times a year, that’s $180-$300 or $480-$600 annually, pre-gratuity, respectively. That’s a decent chunk of change (that’s well earned in my opinion).
Regardless of personal taste on nail decor, can we all agree that they must be well attended to?
Personally, I am somewhere in between. I like to have the professionals do the heavy work every few months. I want to be sure that my footsies and tootsies are up-to-snuff. In between go’s, I’ll spruce them up a time or two. Of course, my effort pales in comparison to the professionals.
I do like to budget and try to sprinkle my money all over the beauty and fashion world. A saying comes to mind. Something like: “You can have anything, just not everything.”
Where do you stand on the topic of feet? How about any fellas out there with an opinion to share?
I Wear Mens Clothes
Cargo shorts used to be a fashion joke to me. I understood the utility. Certainly, they had a lot of pockets to hold all sorts of the wearer’s trinkets and treasures. The washed out cotton looks better with every trip to the laundry and, with all that washing, they become more comfortable. But comfort and utility alone are not enough for me. I used to think they looked horribly lazy and that the wearer was either mountain bound with their dog or given up on life. Cruel, yes. But not unfounded, I would argue. Regardless, I’ve challenged my previous judgment. I want to find a way to make them work for me.
The shorts in the title photo above are from the mens department. And I like them. A lot. Cargo shorts used to be a fashion joke to me. I understood the utility. Certainly, they had a lot of pockets to hold all sorts of the wearer’s trinkets and treasures. The washed out cotton looks better with every trip to the laundry and, with all that washing, they become more comfortable. But comfort and utility alone are not enough for me. I used to think they looked horribly lazy and that the wearer was either mountain bound with their dog or given up on life. Cruel, yes. But not unfounded, I would argue. Regardless, I’ve challenged my previous judgment. I want to find a way to make them work for me. Not only do I think I have found ways to style this piece, I also have the swagger boost of workin’ it that I get only when I’ve found a style that is real.
It goes back to me trying to deviate from the norm. As a woman sometimes I feel the need to cross that invisible line into the mens department. I’ll let you in on something. Fellas cuts for certain items often fit my body type better than the lady equivilent. Every once in a while, for a specific look, I want to let my clothes hang a bit more than typical. Or, I want to juxtapose traditional menswear with something uber feminine. Or, at the very least, get the rush from feeling like I’m in on a super secret joke that others may not be. Any one of those options is reason enough for me. Expressing myself through a variety of items in my style is integral to me. Not “this“ or “that” all the time, rather a bit of this and sometimes that. Some days I want to wear a dress. Other days I want to wear a pant suit.
I’ll share another example of creeping into the mens section. Last year I tried on over 30 pairs of womens boyfriend style jeans. They ranged from high end brands to fast fashion brands. I know my body and trust my eye when I try on potential purchases. In this quest for denim, my eye didn’t lie. They just weren’t hanging right. More specifically, too tight in all the wrong areas and loose in where I though it shouldn’t. Like any other pants, I reject unflattering pocket placement for my tush. I also reject denim that is too stiff or too thin. Be gone.
Out of frustration and a little bit of tired giddiness, I thought, “Why not try the mens section? I won’t know the fit until I try them and the price point is often lower.” Just like that I crossed over to the mens, eyeballed my size and tried a few pairs on. What would you know: they hanged like I wanted and fit in the tush like I wanted. I got that “this is right” feeling that my eye was pushing for. Ding dong! I smirked at the fitting room attendent who was side-eyeing me on my way to the front, paid the sales person and scurried home.
The pants were not as worn in as I fancied – but I am rarely afraid of tackling a style project. After doing the step by step distressing denim video I found on YouTube, I was the proud adorner of my boyfriend jeans. I was ecstatic! Those who see me often will joke that they must be my favourite jeans because I wear them so much. They are (for now at least).
Before my denim plunge last year, I had been a clothing opportunist many times. Did I wear the hand-me-downs from my brother and male cousins? Sure. Snatching my grandpa’s olive green fedora from the pile of his unwanted items is another example. “One man’s trash is another’s treasure,” whispers in my mind. Do dress shirts not so mysteriously disappear from my partner’s closet? I plead delightfully guilty. How about borrowing your buddy’s ball cap and “forgeting” to return it? I’ve done that. Or revelling in the men’s suit jacket that was loaned to you for warmth. Noting not only does it keep you toasty, it also looks great over that dress you are wearing? Or how about finding a vintage T with your favorite sports team. Score! These elements help to create a specific look that I am yearning for on a particular day. To be honest, I just like wearing mens clothes. I feel a bit rebelious. It’s silly, I know, but it gets me going.
Men shop in mens and women shop in womens? Boo, boring. I shop where I want regardless of the gender labels. Aren’t gender labels a bit outdated and out of touch anyway? And what about those who don’t identify with either “men” or “women?” Without getting too deep into that debate, I understand from an operational and organizational view point that brands have to label their merchandise. But I encourage you, as fellow free-minded and open shoppers: break the boundaries and reject the invisible fences. Buy that dress shirt or Kanye-inspired skirt or whatever you feel and look good in, regardless of what section you got it from.
Now that I have my cargo shorts, I’m on the hunt for a mens wool dress jacket for the fall. Cozy, structured and big in all the right areas. Hopefully, second hand. Stay tuned.
Any gender benders out there? What pieces do you work into your wardrobe?
Shopping is Big Business in Las Vegas
People go to Vegas for a varity of reasons but dressing with purpose is ever present: mini dresses on bachlorette parties, suits and ties for the VIPs (or wannabee VIPs) and some of the most casual looks you will see in a city that boasts so much glitz. It is a fashion frenzy on display on the strip. Even the sweat pant contingent that woke up that day and said, “I’m in Vegas, let’s not only pack sweats, let’s wear them!”
Recently, I came home from my annual Las Vegas trip with the usual mixed feelings: I had a lot of fun, I got a bit of a tan, but I felt I spent a lot of money and not exactly sure on what.
Let me preface this all with a bit of background on me and why I love Las Vegas. Since 2009 I have been seven times and each time is a bit different. Las Vegas is special to me as it is the closest adult playland to Calgary via a short flight. Once there, where you came from or what time of day it is are not relevant. You can do and go where ever you want as long as you’ve got the money for the desired activity. Do you want to drink a two-litre slushy vodka out of a large plastic mould of the Eiffel Tower while walking through every casino looking for a $5 black jack table with 3:2 payouts? Good luck my friend, forge on. Or do you want to shake and shimmy that freshly sunburnt body in a nightclub until five in the morning? Knock yourself out! Or would you rather go to a different adult only show every night? Absolutely, how open minded are you? It’s a place where locals and visitors have their choice of gambling, cusine, entertainment free and paid, amusements, amenities, people watching and my favourite pastime: shopping. It’s a very happy place for me indeed.
People go to Vegas for a varity of reasons but dressing with purpose is ever present: mini dresses on bachlorette parties, suits and ties for the VIPs (or wannabe VIPs) and some of the most casual looks you will see in a city that boasts so much glitz. It is a fashion frenzy on display on the strip. On the one hand, we have the sweat pant contingent who woke up that day and said, “I’m in Vegas, let’s not only pack sweats, let’s wear them!” On the other hand another person woke up and said, “This Italian made suit is not coming off until I get back to the hotel.” Freedom of expression is not only well believed, it’s executed. Some say that many perform the walk of shame come the morning light. That’s too judgmental and negative for me. I say it’s proof of whatever Vegas adventure you grabbed by the horns. Good for you.
Regardless of my personal style taste, I really appreciate that people from all over come to Vegas and show “theirs” while on vacation. There are not many places where it is totally appropriate to wear yoga pants and cheap sunglasses, jeans and a T, teeny tiny swimsuit and sky high wedges, the glitzed out party dress with heels that could second as stabbing weapons, and a bag worth more than the sum of all your other packed belongings all in the same day. And not neccesarily in that order. It is all a part of the dusty, neon and LED lit up magic. With so many people out and about, and knowing that gambling spending overall is down from various reports, I was curious to know what else people are spending their money on?
The Las Vegas Convention Centre and Visitors Authority lists over 600,000 residents in 2013. In that same year, nearly 40 million visitors came to Las Vegas. 71% visitors said they gambled while in Sin City in 2013. That’s a consistent, downward trend from 83% in 2009, 80% in 2010, and 77% in 2011. In the same report, shopping expenditures per trip has been, in general, trending upwards. In 2013 the average spend was $140.90 per trip ($101.97 in 2009, $122.80 in 2010, $129.34 in 2011, and $149.29 in 2012). If my math checks out, that’s over $5.5 billion in 2013 from shopping alone. Cha Ching!
Billion of dollars is huge. With my curiousity running wild, I needed to get a sense of the bigger picture. I couldn’t think of a better US comparible than New York City. East coast we go. As of 2013, NYCgo.com notes there are 8.4 million residents in the five bouroughs - Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island. Detailed in that report are nearly 53 million vistors in the Big Apple in 2012. The report notes that visitor spending (international and domestic) in 2012 totals nearly $37 billion. Of that $37 billion, $8 billion is allocated to shopping. Cha ching a ding ding.
I was interested in more than the dollars. The number of shopping locations in a certain area was interesting to me too. In the Las Vegas Magazine, a local publication handed out in hotel rooms, it maps 8 shopping centres on the strip alone. We’re talking MALLS, people, not just single stores. For instance, in the Miracle Mile Shops at Planet Hollywood tout 170 stores. The strip boasts so much shopping in just over 5.6 kilometers (thanks to a quick Google maps check) and that doesn’t include the two outlets and the Town Square. To put that in local context, Visit Calgary lists nine major shopping centres. Looking at the corresponding geography, it’s 43 kilometers from Shawnessy to CrossIron Mills and 26 kilometers from West Hills to Sunridge Mall. When it comes to shopping and urban planning, Las Vegas proves that it knows how to pack a lot in a few kilometers.
Going back to NYC, Manhattan is 21.5 km long and via visit5thavene.com the most densely populated shopping area appears to be a sliver of Fifth Avenue from 42 Street to 60 Street. That’s nearly 1.5 kilometers over 18 blocks. There’s a tonne of great shopping in the 100+ shops and department stores, ranging from high end to fast fashion, but nowhere near as many or as repetitively as Las Vegas. Vegas knows volume and the consumers, myself included, happily buy up the vast supply in droves.
Personally, I am doing my part to help the Las Vegas tourist economy. I am happy to report to the powers that be that I have well overspent the $140.90 average on shopping on each of my trips to Las Vegas. Or what I like to call, Less Visa (limit). But, I must admit, over the years I have made some excellent purchases that I cherish fondly and wear often. Some items not so much. And did I mention shopping is fun?
For a city the fraction the population of New York, shopping is very real and big business in Las Vegas. Not to take anything away from New York, the cities are of course very different and glorious in their own right, but the Vegas numbers are personally impressive to me. It’s a bit like if you’re going to compare Vegas shopping to another city, you may as well do it with the best.
Are the numbers surprising to you? How do you spend compared to the above averages?
The start of More to It
Through this blog I will share my interest in the stories and the insight behind the fashion. For instance, I gravitate towards stories that dig into the business of fashion: who are the key players, what moves are they making, how well (or not well) is a company executing it’s brand through its actions, what are the customers saying? I will also seek out the human-interest elements in fashion. Topics such as diversity and inclusivity on and off the runway, ethical or moral issues including manufacturing workplace conditions, choice of fabrics, behaviors in and out of the spotlight and philanthropic partnerships. And I’ll try to simplify and sometimes even myth bust. That’s my way of trying to help others navigate through the plethora of choices and have a little fun along the way.
Welcome and thank you for taking an interest. I am truly delighted and grateful.
Before I explain what I want to share with you through this blog, I wanted to tell you a bit about me and how I got here.
Since I was a child, I was fascinated by clothing and how it can reflect one’s identity. Not only did I have a voracious appetite for fabrics, patterns, magazines, books, movies and maybe my childhood favorite indulgence, Barbie, Ken and the gang, I was often concerned with standing out and being seen.
Upon reflection I realized the reason I loved clothing so much was because it opened up my imagination to the stories behind the people. While I played Barbie, dress up or looked through the Sears catalogue, I imagined where they were going, what they were doing and what they were wearing for the occasion. I daydreamed about what I could wear which led me to an awareness of dressing for any and all occasions in a specific, thought out way.
As for identity, selecting my clothing, for me, was always a way to tell people how I wanted them to see me. So for family Christmas, I wanted to wear something fancy. When I was hanging at my childhood farm, I wanted something I could get messy in. And on important days at school, be it picture day or a student council, I wanted to look a particular way, smart, professional, creative, etc. I remember a time, I was 6 or so and I was negotiating with my mom if I could wear floral shorts to school, in January, in Saskatchewan. My argument included wearing tights under the shorts because not only would they keep me cozy, they matched my shirt. Perhaps what I remember the most vividly was the intense desire to wear those particular shorts and on that particular day.
As a teen I internally struggled with not wanting to wear what the other kids were wearing and often thought the style was too easy of a choice or too boring. I wanted to look unique, different somehow and it also had to look great to me. I took the teasing as an indication that I was on the right path and that others just didn’t know how they wanted to be seen so they lashed out.
As I became an adult I came into my own and realized all along I really just wanted to look like me. It was not about a particular brand, seasonal colour or item it was about all of it together in a specific, personal look. Through those perhaps rose coloured glasses, I have reviewed, studied, refined and applied that focus in styling.
I find great joy in wearing what I want and having it showcase who I want to be on a given day. Through the years I have helped friends and family find a bit of themselves through clothing too. To me there is nothing better than walking down the street, turning on the TV or checking the blogs and finding a person who looks spectacular, and spectacular in their own way. I truly believe no matter your size, shape, shade, status, or sexuality you can look good. Damn good. It’s all about finding something that not only works from a technical point of view, but it has to work emotionally.
This ingrained, insatiable appetite for clothing and personal style grew into launching my business. I have the immense pleasure and privilege of assisting others in revealing their sincere and refined self through personal style. I am in the business of self-confidence and could not be more proud.
Of course with style comes fashion. And fashion is juicy!
Through this blog I will share my interest in the stories and the insight behind the fashion. For instance, I gravitate towards stories that dig into the business of fashion: who are the key players, what moves are they making, impacts of fast fashion, how well (or not well) is a company executing it’s brand through its actions, what are the customers saying? I will also seek out the human-interest elements in fashion. Topics such as diversity and inclusivity on and off the runway. Ethical or moral issues including manufacturing industry workplace conditions, choice of fabrics, behaviors in and out of the spotlight and philanthropic partnerships. And I’ll try to simplify and sometimes even myth bust. That’s my way of trying to help others navigate through the plethora of choices and have a little fun along the way.
Maybe it’s my background in marketing paired with my sometimes contrarian, always independent nature, but I want to dig deeper than detailing the “10 items for spring you need now,” on this blog. While that is interesting and you can certainly find great help on that elsewhere, it doesn’t get me going the same as say a brand hiring transgendered models on the runway as a way of showing a commitment to showcasing our range of beautiful, diverse people in this world.
Why does this matter? It matters to me because never before have we had so many choices and access to those choices. Customers are totally in control, companies know this and with that comes a certain consumer opportunity. I say spend your hard earned money at places you somehow align personally with.
If you are intrigued, that is most excellent. Thank you and come back often. If not, that’s okay too. Cuss me out in the comments.