What Would Swimsuits Say If They Could Talk?

Credits: Photo - Anonymous, Styling - Sarah G. Schmidt, Location - Katepwa Lake, SK


After a long weekend mostly outdoors, I spent a majority of the time in a swimsuit. It’s a gals best friend when at the lake. After wearing a fair share that didn’t fit right in my past escapades, there’s nothing quite like a swimsuit that allows you to go about your day without worrying about it. Maybe all the sunblock chemicals went to my head because all I can think about is what our bathing suits would say if they could talk?

Thoughts of what each cut and style were the first things that trickled through my mind. Like what would the likely personality difference be between say a triangle style top or a underwire push up? I’m thinking something like this:

“Hey Underwire, why don’t you come over here and hang with us at the laid back tiki bar? We’re so relaxed in our hammocks.”

“No way, Triangle! You guys don’t have proper lift, support, or sufficient fasteners. You call strings the size of spaghetti your fail-safe way of keeping the gals covered? Not on my watch.”

“Your loss, Underwire. We’ll be hanging loose here if you change your mind.”

How about the choice in bottoms?

Full brief says to another full brief when seeing the Brazilian style bottoms sand bound sans towel, “She’s gonna sit in that? That’s a new kind of sand’witch’ if you ask me.”

All of those styles may get trumped this year with the current one-piece's major comeback. It's a full on takeover.

She’s all like, “I knew I’d get a call back. Mmmmm hmmmm. Just had to wait it out.”

I’ve also spent a considerable amount of time pondering colour choice. As in, if you wear a bright colour does that communicate something different than a basic black? For the record, who decided that black is basic or that cobalt is bold? Nonetheless, the exchange could go something like:

“Oh my, look at her. She’s just screaming for attention in that cobalt blue. ‘Look at me, look at me.’ Not subtle at all.”

“Poor gal trapped in that basic colour. Just blending into the crowd hey? Don’t want to cause a stir? Boring! Ps. where's the body positivity? Living is for the living!”

Then you can really go down a rabbit hole when you think of all of the options for outer layers and hats and sunglasses and sandals. It’s a whole miniature fashion eco system. You start with the suit and build onto the look layer-by-layer, item-by-item. Others may get inspired by a hat and build their look from that. It’s a fun style puzzle. The plethora of choices excite me.

Baseball hat vs. wide brim hat?

Kimono vs. oversize sports jersey tank as a layering piece?

Aviator glasses vs. cat eye glasses?

And maybe the most heated debate there is: flip flops vs. slide sandals!

Oooooh the drama.

For me it’s a mix of what I’m doing that day and my mood. For instance, what I wear lounging poolside Viva Las Vegas is hella different than what I would wear to go water skiing at the lake. In addition to that, you know it’s got to gel with my mood. I’ll be the first to admit that I have a few options for each so that I can wear something that works with the activity and also accommodates my feelings or mood for the day. Sartorial variety really is my chosen spice of life.

What suit are you wearing this summer? Whatever you choose I beg you to remember three things: pick what makes you feel good, remember that everyone has a beach body, and wear some G-Dang SPF for that beautiful, precious skin of yours.