TMI: My November Blues
After a few busy weeks, things are starting to slow down for me. I can take a breather before it’s nutcrackers again. It’s that calm before the holiday storm state. With that aforementioned feeling of extra time, some of my more hard-to-reconcile thoughts are creeping in. Thanks brain.
I am open about how I often find November difficult. The lack of daylight, the in-between-ness of seasons, and the looming thoughts of, yet another, year passing by are quite real. This is a challenge for me as this lower state of feeling affects my style.
Here’s a warning, I’m about to share, maybe too much, about how my style is deflated when I’m feeling a bit low. I understand that my point of view is an already micro niche market. Me, on a style blog, blabbering on about how I’m not feeling anywhere close to 100% am a total nano niche bummer. The thing is though, it’s real, and I don’t want to hide it. Maybe there is someone out there who is feeling like a bit of a loner, too. I want to wrap them in a cozy cashmere sweater hug and tell them, “I know. I’m feeling a bit icky too.”
I know when I’m not feeling like myself when I’m less interested in getting dressed. I’m content with throwing any thing on as opposed to a particular, carefully selected thing. When I’m feeling blue, I tend to want to repeat looks I’ve already come up with. Not that that method of dressing is “bad”, it’s just not me. A quick scroll through my post-an-outfit-a-day style Instagram feed is a mirror that doesn’t lie.
When I’m “feeling myself” I can hardly wait to try a new look or rework a garment. I sometimes lay awake at night fantasizing about what I’ll wear to this thing or that thing. I’ll pop into my wardrobe and pull something out at random and put a head to toe look based off of that one particular thing. Simply put, I’m game for a style Jenga type challenge.
Right now I’m just a bit chill on the whole sartorial experimenting thing. I can be described as many things but “chill” is not a frequent adjective. Intense, yes. Chill? Sarah who? I know it’s a thing because those who are close to me are starting to notice. I find comfort in knowing they mean well and are concerned. Thanks, my people.
What’s a gal like me supposed to do about it? For starters, admitting it. Kindly indulge me as I process out loud. From what I have learned about mental health so far I hear talking about what you’re going through can be helpful. Whereas, bottling it up can be harmful. Rocket science theory it is not.
Next, I have been examining potential triggers. I know that this time of year, year after year, is tricky for me. It’s a pattern so why not embrace that insight. It would be quick to move on, right? Instead, I have been asking myself this year, “Yeah, but why else November?” My dwelling on this more deeply has drudged up something new. Perhaps part of the reason I’m feeling blue is that my goal-oriented self is already talking stock of this year’s life win and loss column. We have 40 odd days left in the year and I’m already focusing on the future adjustments I need to make. This reflective determination serves me well in some areas while, in other areas, it can be a bit harsh.
Finally - and thankfully - I have some good ‘ol sunshine en route to naturally lift my spirits. I’m soon off to a vacation full of sand, sun, and crashing ocean. Although I recognize it, I am still in awe of how much a little warmth on my skin and salty smell actually helps my soul. It helps me so much that I remember I may have a soul.
I know how incredibly privileged I am to be able to go away and get happier, I do. It’s so cliché, too. I fully understand that my state of “sad style” is a symptom of another problem. I’m working on it. Part of that is finding comfort in knowing I’m going to seize my vacation style opportunity. It’s nearly time to get my wardrobe YOLO on, and hopefully, some of my style mojo back.
